Four years ago, I was newly single and enjoying my first few months of freedom to their fullest extent. Friday nights were dedicated to my girls. After a long week of work, getting dressed up and my drink on was the highlight of my week. I was 23 years old and soaking up all the bar scene had to offer. Meeting guys, exchanging numbers, going out on dates. The single life dating scene was fun and carefree for me. I knew I didn't want to get serious, especially so soon after ending a very long term relationship, so there was never any hesitation. I dated here and there and just enjoyed each day ((or night)) for what it was. The only draw back was how exhausted ((hungover)) this type of dating scene got after a while.
In February 2008, I agreed to go on my first real blind date. Having absolutely no clue what this guy looked like, or really anything about him besides he was 6 years older and from New York, it was the first time a date actually made me nervous. Long story short, the date went great and we saw each other three more times that week. Then five months later we were engaged and a year later married. Now three years later we have a beautiful baby boy. Having those single days far behind I have found that the dating scene doesn't really go away. It just changes. Instead of purses and heels, it's diaper bags and flats. Instead of bottle of jameson, it's bottles of formula. And instead of meeting guys that could be prospective dating material out at bars, it's meeting moms that could be prospective playdate material out at baby classes or the playground.
The biggest difference between these two dating scenes for me is that the latter makes me nervous. The whole playdating scene is a bit uncomfortable for me. Years ago I was open to dates with any type of guy. I had no real "type" ((except in my single days the bad boys were always much more appealling)). Now I feel very concerned already about who I will chose to have playdates with. My concern is not really for me. I love meeting new people and can hold a conversation with a wall. But for my son. Who is this mother? How does she raise her children? How will our families click? Will this relationship encourage or stunt my child's growth? Those once "bad boys" I would gravitate towards were now what I worried my son will turn into if he hangs out with the "wrong crowd." Granted I am very well aware that he is only six weeks old. I just tend to over think things now and want what's absolutely best for my son. ((Boy, don't I sound just like my mother!!))
I have left the dating scene of "me" and ventured into the dating scene of "we."